{"id":6074,"date":"2013-06-13T20:46:09","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T19:46:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/?p=6074"},"modified":"2014-01-14T06:40:00","modified_gmt":"2014-01-14T06:40:00","slug":"benevolant-sexism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/benevolant-sexism\/","title":{"rendered":"Being a Gentleman \u2018Sexist\u2019, say Feminists"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>By <a href=\" https:\/\/plus.google.com\/103911280480982124182?rel=author\">Robin Phillips<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\/\/ <![CDATA[\n(function(d, s, id) {   var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];   if (d.getElementById(id)) return;   js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;   js.src = \"\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1\";   fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));\n\/\/ ]]><\/script><\/p>\n<h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Being-a-gentleman.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6075 alignright\" alt=\"Being a gentleman\" src=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Being-a-gentleman.jpeg\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Being-a-gentleman.jpeg 350w, https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Being-a-gentleman-300x199.jpeg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/a><strong>No Longer Politically Correct to be a Gentleman<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Chivalry is demeaning towards women and a sign of \u2018sexism\u2019 in men, feminist psychologists now claim.<\/p>\n<p>The controversial claims follow <a href=\"http:\/\/scienceblogs.de\/geograffitico\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/70\/files\/2012\/07\/i-71d81b5e27f9bb30bb2879198975590a-Psychology of Women Quarterly-2011-Becker-227-42.pdf\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>a report<\/strong><\/a> for the Psychology of Women Quarterly which asserts that there is a cluster of behaviours called \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 which manifests itself in everything from opening doors for girls to men offering to help women choose the right computer. (See Andy Bloxham\u2019s Telegraph article, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.telegraph.co.uk\/women\/sex\/8575363\/Chivalry-is-actually-benevolent-sexism-feminists-conclude.html\" target=\"_blank\">\u201c<strong>Chivalry is actually &#8216;benevolent sexism&#8217;, feminists conclude<\/strong><\/a>.\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Playing the part of a gentleman is a particularly insidious form of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019, rooted in warm feelings towards women, the researchers claim. While gentlemanly behaviour might at first appear to be positive towards women, it is actually a form of gender colonialism.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe warm, fuzzy feelings surrounding benevolent sexism come at a cost,\u201d warned Melanie Tannenbaum in the <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.scientificamerican.com\/psysociety\/2013\/04\/02\/benevolent-sexism\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Scientific American<\/strong><\/a> last April, \u201cand that cost is often actual, objective gender equality.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Social scientists have even <a href=\"http:\/\/scienceblogs.de\/geograffitico\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/70\/files\/2012\/07\/i-71d81b5e27f9bb30bb2879198975590a-Psychology of Women Quarterly-2011-Becker-227-42.pdf\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>claimed<\/strong><\/a> that equality is threatened when a man tells a woman that he cannot live without her or when he \u2018cherishes\u2019 her.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/scienceblogs.de\/geograffitico\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/70\/files\/2012\/07\/i-71d81b5e27f9bb30bb2879198975590a-Psychology%20of%20Women%20Quarterly-2011-Becker-227-42.pdf\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>The radical claims<\/strong><\/a> were published in the Psychology of Women Quarterly, the official publication of the Society for the Psychology of Women. The authors of the study, Julia Becker and Janet Swim, warned that \u201cWomen endorse sexist beliefs, at least in part, because they do not attend to subtle, aggregate forms of sexism in their personal lives. \u2026women\u2026are the victims of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019.\u201d They warned that sexist attitudes include an \u201codd\u2026conjunction of what at first seemed inherently incompatible: subjective affection as a form of prejudice\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Although most women welcome benevolent sexism, social scientists are alerting them to the danger. As the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2011\/10\/111004121314.htm\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Science Daily<\/strong><\/a> reported,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cBenevolent sexism motivates chivalrous acts that many women may welcome, such as a man&#8217;s offer to lift heavy boxes or install the new computer. While the path to benevolent sexism may be paved with good intentions, it reinforces the assumption that men possess greater competence than women, whom benevolent sexists view as wonderful, but weak and fragile.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The report for the Psychology of Women Quarterly drew on the work of social psychologists Dr. Peter Glick and Dr. Susan Fiske who wrote<a href=\"http:\/\/474miranairresearchpaper.wmwikis.net\/file\/view\/Glick_Fiske%5B1%5D.pdf\" target=\"_blank\"><strong> a paper<\/strong><\/a> in 1996 which postulated the existence of ambivalent sexism. Ambivalent sexism is a category thought to include both \u2018hostile sexism\u2019 (things like rape, wife-beating, etc.) and \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 (things like offering to carry a woman\u2019s luggage, opening doors, etc.). The authors claimed that their research proved that both hostile and benevolent sexism are composed of three subcomponents: paternalism, gender differentiation, and heterosexuality. Both forms of sexism also have origin in men\u2019s desire to dominate women: \u201c[Benevolent sexism is] a subjectively positive orientation of protection, idealization, and affection directed toward women that, like hostile sexism, serves to justify women\u2019s subordinate status to men.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Glick and Fiske believe that the gender differentiation and heterosexuality that are integral to benevolent sexism emerge in &#8216;protective paternalism&#8217;, intimacy-seeking, male self-disclosure (how sexist to assume a woman will be a sympathetic ear!) and romantic love. As Glick and Fiske write, \u201cthe attitudes we define as characterizing benevolent sexism\u201d include \u201cprotective attitudes towards women, a reverence for the role of women as wives and mothers, and an idealization of women as romantic love objects.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Other tell-tale signs of &#8216;benevolent sexism&#8217; include the belief that \u201cwomen should be cherished and protected by men\u201d, the belief that \u201cmen should sacrifice to provide for women\u201d, or when a man offers to do the driving on a long distance journey (\u2018protective paternalism\u2019 again). Even saving a woman\u2019s life is offensive, for according to Swim the statement that \u201cin a disaster, women should be saved before men\u201d is sexist.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Being Positive is Being Negative<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>It is not only males who are being accused of perpetuating &#8216;benevolent sexism&#8217;. If a woman think too highly of her sex, then that is a sign that she too has fallen victim of certain sexist myths. As the Scientific American <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.scientificamerican.com\/psysociety\/2013\/04\/02\/benevolent-sexism\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>reported<\/strong><\/a>, \u201cwomen who were exposed to benevolent sexism were more likely to think that there are many advantages to being a woman.\u201d One of the questions used to determine \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 is whether a woman agrees with the statement, \u2018there are some things that a woman understands better than a man.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>On the surface, it is strange that any feminist would have a problem with a woman complimenting her own sex. However, given their fixation with \u2018gender equality\u2019, the only thing feminists hate more than someone suggested women are inferior to men is for someone to suggest that women are superior to men. The compliment is offensive precisely because the suggestion that women are superior implies that men and women are not the same.<\/p>\n<p>We have seen that the theory of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 argues that there is a strange juxtaposition between praising women and hating them, that <em>acting positive towards a woman is actually negative; being nice to women is actually not so nice.<\/em> At first this seems completely bizarre. How can positive feelings towards women be negative? How can it be not quite nice to treat a woman nicely?<\/p>\n<p>The answer to these questions can be found in the pervasive suspicion that if men sacrifice for women or look after them, then this implies women are weak or even (God-forbid) that women are not entirely self-sufficient without men, and visa versa. But classical feminism denies that women need men. By classifying \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 in the same class as \u2018hostile sexism\u2019 (rape, wife-beating, etc.), feminist theorists are targeting any kind of mutual dependence and complementarity among the sexes \u2013 what Glick and Fiske refer to pejoratively as \u201ccomplementary gender differentiation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These ideas are not limited to fringe feminist academics. If you don\u2019t believe me, try this little experiment. Go into a big city and spend the day looking for acts of chivalry you can do towards women. It could be anything from opening doors for women to helping them on with their coats. You may find that you will have an experience similar to the 55-year-old businessman named Tony whose experience Wendy Shalit chronicled in her book <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Return-Modesty-Discovering-Lost-Virtue\/dp\/0684863170\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1371151354&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=A+Return+to+Modesty?tag=robsrearef-20\" target=\"_blank\"><em>A Return to Modesty<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I was out with my wife and one other woman and when I got the other woman\u2019s coat for her and reached to help her with it, she practically ripped the coat out of my hands, said \u201cNobody has ever done that for me!\u201d and stomped off and waited, fuming, by the door.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Such is the topsy-turvy world in which we live, where being nice to women is considered demeaning.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Social Consequences<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>The irony is that without the concept of gender differentiation, and without a high premium placed on men acting as gentlemen, women are actually vulnerable to the very types of exploitation and abuses to which feminism claims to be the solution.<\/p>\n<p>Glick and Fiske have shown that \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 lurks whenever women are made the objects of men&#8217;s adoration, protection, and provision. But don\u2019t we see the results of women not being the recipients of male protection and provision all around us? We do, and it isn\u2019t reassuring. All around us we see the result of a world in which men no longer think they need to protect women. Every day in the news we are reminded what a society looks like where it is no longer cool for a man to be a gentleman.<\/p>\n<p>Not only do we live in a world where a man can claim the moral high ground by repudiating the role of gentleman, but feminists have given us a world in which it is praiseworthy for women not to act as ladies. For let\u2019s not forget that the concept of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 not only targets men who act as gentlemen, but also women who have a kind of feminine pride, who think of themselves as special, who gravitate towards men who will protect and adore them, and who try to act as &#8216;ladies.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>When we turn away from the academic theorizing of feminist social scientists to the real world and look at what goes on in the street, it is doubtful that the erosion of female dignity is actually good for women. It isn\u2019t a complicated point that an attractive woman who believes there is a special dignity about being female is more likely to have the inner resources to resist the lucrative pull of the porn industry. A woman who believes that she has a right to male provision and protection merely because she is a woman will be less likely to let herself be victimized by unscrupulous men. A woman who thinks of herself with dignity and who appreciates the advantages of being a woman is going to be more likely to seek out men who will protect and cherish her.<\/p>\n<p>So perhaps \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad after all. In fact, I\u2019ll go further. Without an appropriate sense of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019, it becomes difficult to rightly assess the tragedy of sexual abuse against women. Let me explain.<\/p>\n<p>Remember that one of the components of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 is gender differentiation. But without a strong sense of gender differences\u2014what we might call the womanliness of women and the manliness of men\u2014we might legitimately ask whether the violation of female sexuality is really that bad. For some thinkers the answer seems to be no.<\/p>\n<p>For example, the original text of Eve Ensler\u2019s award-winning play, \u2018The Vagina Monologues\u2019 venerates rape performed on a 13-year-old girl, who declares, \u201cIf it was rape, it was a good rape.\u201d In her book <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/books.google.com\/books?id=aPSbgyyLZukC&amp;pg=PA65&amp;lpg=PA65&amp;dq=is+a+totally+devastating+psychological+experience+for+a+woman,+then+she+doesn%27t+have+a+proper+attitude+about+sex&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=vuDzKL0a99&amp;sig=W1xjc9f1sFZL0L1T0PrtCy_UvN0&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oAS5UeDYL4a90AHSp4DYCQ&amp;ved=0CC8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=is%20a%20totally%20devastating%20psychological%20experience%20for%20a%20woman%2C%20then%20she%20doesn%27t%20have%20a%20proper%20attitude%20about%20sex&amp;f=false\" target=\"_blank\"><em>Sex, Art, and American Culture: Essays<\/em><\/a><\/strong>, Camille Paglia write that if rape \u201cis a totally devastating psychological experience for a woman, then she doesn&#8217;t have a proper attitude about sex.\u201d Significantly, Paglia bases this idea on a non-benevolent view of women, saying, if we have the \u201ckind of attitude\u201d that women \u201care basically nurturing, benevolent people&#8230;then of course rape is going to be a total violation of your entire life&#8230;\u201d In her own approach, however, a woman being raped is just like a man getting beaten up.<\/p>\n<p>Although these comments should fill us with horror, they are not without a certain feminist logic. If there is no gender differentiation, rape cannot be said to be a crime against one&#8217;s womanhood and female dignity, but only a crime against the body. This is because these theories assert that womanhood and female dignity, as something differentiated and complementary to manhood, either do not exist in an ultimate objective sense, or exists as merely the residue of our patriarchal culture. Indeed, when all aspects of our humanity are reduced to gender-neutral categories, then what is left to be called a \u201cwoman\u201d has hardly any right to complain that rape is qualitatively different to being beat up, or that prostitution is different than any other type of profession (hence the debates among feminists on whether prostitution should be legalized).<\/p>\n<p>Once gender differentiation is seen to be a species of sexism, then not only is the gentleman seen to be an icon of our sexist past, but the virtuous woman is seen to be an icon of female subordination. This frightening logic has been realized in various movements in which feminists have intentionally appropriated to themselves the language of female hatred. One thinks of Elizabeth Wurtzel book Bitch, or the \u2018Slutwalk\u2019 phenomenon which attempted to reclaim the word \u201cslut,\u201d or New York State University\u2019s taxpayer-funded \u2018Revolting Behavior\u2019 conference which attempted to reclaim the word \u201cShameless Hussy\u201d, or the International GoTopless Day which attempts to bring to men sights that at one time would have been restricted to a brothel, or movements like \u2018V-Day\u2019 which attempt to reclaim certain slang and offensive terms for the female genitalia. The irony of all these movements are that they sponsored by feminists who, in the name of equality, have embraced themes that used to be the province of misogynist men, while those males who remain gentleman are demonized.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>In Defense of Chivalry<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Chivalry is unpopular today precisely because it is an emblem of masculinity among the men who practice it and an emblem of femininity in the women who receive it, even as feminine modesty reminds us that there is a difference in how responsible men and women dress. Chivalrous behavior thus presupposes certain things about our humanity. It assumes, for example, that women ought to be treated in a special way because they are women, just as feminine modesty proclaims that women ought to dress in a certain way because they are women. When a man embraces his calling to look after and protect women, or when a woman embraces her obligation to dress modestly, both are proclaiming that there is a fundamental difference between the sexes.<\/p>\n<p>However, in a world where women have been \u201cliberated\u201d to be the same as men, where we are taught that all gender-specific roles (including men showing special honor to women) are oppressive, it is inevitable that strong attack will be leveled against men behaving as gentlemen and women acting as ladies. However, the irony is that by turning female honor and dignity into something dirty, feminism opens women up to new forms of exploitation.<\/p>\n<p>By contrast, being ladies and gentlemen\u2014embracing \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 as something good\u2014acts as a hedge against the sexual reductionism of our society. Good sexual manners\u2014whether it be man offering to carry a women\u2019s heavy suit case or a lady making sure her clothes are not transparent\u2014constantly reaffirms that the raw matter of our world has a certain shape and poetry beyond the brute facts of existence. It also affirms what Glick and Fiske argue is a central tenant of \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 but which might not actually be that bad to recover: the notion that \u201cwomen are to be loved, cherished, and protected.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"fb-comments\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/benevolant-sexism\/\" data-width=\"470\" data-num-posts=\"400\"><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>Find out how to join Christian Voice and stand up for the King of kings (clicking on the link below does not commit you to join)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/wp.me\/P1OVTZ-gb\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3940\" style=\"border: 0px;\" title=\"Join Today!\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Join_donate_Logo2.jpg\" width=\"185\" height=\"180\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>Please note that persons wishing to comment on this story must enter a valid email address. Comments from persons leaving fictitious email addresses will be trashed.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Robin Phillips No Longer Politically Correct to be a Gentleman Chivalry is demeaning towards women and a sign of \u2018sexism\u2019 in men, feminist psychologists now claim. The controversial claims follow a report for the Psychology of Women Quarterly which asserts that there is a cluster of behaviours called \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 which manifests itself in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[847,846,854,844,859,855,853,1542,858,851,672,848,857,849,850,845,856,852],"class_list":["post-6074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feminism","tag-andy-bloxham","tag-benevolent-sexism","tag-camille-paglia","tag-chivalry","tag-elizabeth-wurtzel","tag-eve-ensler","tag-feminine-odesty","tag-feminism","tag-international-gotopless-da","tag-peter-glick","tag-rape","tag-scientific-american","tag-sexism","tag-society-for-the-psychology-of-women","tag-susan-fiske","tag-the-psychology-of-wmen-quarterly","tag-the-vagina-monologues","tag-wendy-shalit"],"aioseo_notices":[],"rttpg_featured_image_url":null,"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"Robin","author_link":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/author\/robin\/"},"rttpg_comment":6,"rttpg_category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/category\/homosexuality-trans\/feminism\/\" rel=\"category tag\">Feminism<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"By Robin Phillips No Longer Politically Correct to be a Gentleman Chivalry is demeaning towards women and a sign of \u2018sexism\u2019 in men, feminist psychologists now claim. The controversial claims follow a report for the Psychology of Women Quarterly which asserts that there is a cluster of behaviours called \u2018benevolent sexism\u2019 which manifests itself in&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6074","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6074"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6074\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6074"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6074"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianvoice.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6074"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}